My brain says no but my pants say off.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
