I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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