i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
