Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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