the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
