we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
