Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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