The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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