we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
