Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
