So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
