im gay
i know
yea but for you.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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