He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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