Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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