oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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