i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
