they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
