i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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