I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
