i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
