Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
