Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
