Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
