dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
