I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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