Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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