i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
