please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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