I didn't shave. On purpose
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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