You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
