At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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