Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
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