They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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