the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
