fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
