Is it because I queefed?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
