All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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