haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
