Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
