? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
