dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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