I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
