Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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