She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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