Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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