I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
