some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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