I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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