Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
