i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
