Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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