he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
