Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
