Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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