It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
