Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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