Just took my morning after pill in the library
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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